Dumb@55: Hey.. let's invent something and make a fortune out of it!
Clever Friend: Wait a minute..how do you know they will sell?
Dumb@55: Don't worry..we hire a marketing consultant. They'll surely find a way!
Clever Friend: Gee..you're right! Let's get the R&D runnin'! (Started thinking on changing his name)
These people started to locate some VCs to fund their project, but of course, being a useless product, they'll never secure one.
VC: I don't think there's a demand whatsoever for the product you're inventing. You're wasting my time.
Dumb@55: I'll take that as an insult to my intelligence and 'positively' take that as a challenge.
Dumb@55 Friend (formerly known as Clever Guy): We'll fork out our savings to pursue our goals. There's no reward without risk. We're risk taker.
And so they went broke because the R&D cost more than what they expected (stupid inventions needs endless corrective modifications) and their remaining budget is only left for promoting the product.
Dumb@55: Ok, let's start promoting it. Any good marketing consultant you know?
Dumb@55 Friend: Gobloc Insulting is the best. I heard the guy running it is filthy rich. Must be very successful. (Considering changing back his name)
Fortunately, I'm notorious for guerrilla (read: cheap-skate) marketing, so we took the project.
Dumb@55: We borrowed 2mil from our relatives who sold off all their real estate properties to fund the marketing expenses for this product.
Me: I'm sorry, your budget is only sufficient for my profit margin. Therefore the product will have zero budget for actual promotion.
Clever Friend (previously Dumb@55 friend): But you still can promote it right?
Me: Depends on how far are you guys willing to go to promote...
Dumb@55: We've risk loosing our entire family tree for this project. Go figure.
Me: Good. Now...Your product, along with you, will get international exposures, endless discussions and eternal place in the history. And..did I mention we're promoting it on Television?
Dumb@55: You gotta be kiddin' man..With zero promotion budget?
Me: I'm THE Black Zedd. I'm dead serious. Now get me some plain T-shirts. Print your product name on them. Put 'em on and follow what these people are doing:
Me: In order to get the best return out of the zero sum you're spending, strive for comments like these:
Dumb@55: Got it! You're a genius! (considering changing his name)
Me: Good luck. And don't forget to subscribe to my feed for more brilliant marketing tactics. Or stumble and digg this advice to share with other sorry 'inventors' like you.