C.E.O., Gobloc Insulting
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Basic Literature is a corporate satire blog, updated with satirical and humorous commentary on the corporate world, including career advice, management tips, business strategies and marketing tactics.
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I'm Offering $89.2b To Acquire Yahoo! Inc.

Sunday, February 17, 2008

Or is it Red Zedd?

For those of you who have been following the tech news recently, you wouldn't miss the fact that:

  1. IT-Mogul Microsoft bid a whooping $44.6b to acquire the internet giant Yahoo
  2. And the deal has been shot down by the latter on the grounds of 'not in the best interests of our stockholders.',
  3. And that the shareholders are suing Yahoo's management for rejecting the bid.
I'm one of those few who felt absolutely relieved the deal didn't went through.

Yes, it may alter the competitive dimension in the 'Google vs. The Rest' struggle, but being a sharp and freaking rich businessman myself, I see a goldmine left untouched.

Therefore, I would like to make an official announcement (I love you guys a lot, so I'm giving you the first heads-up) that I, Mr. Black Zedd, through my company Gobloc Insulting, is launching a bid for Yahoo! Inc. for $89.2billion.

The Bid

This represents twice the bid value of the poor old Microsoft and an irresistible premium of 120% for Yahoo!'s $31 per share stockholders.

The Decision

The decision was made after thorough 2 minutes discussions with my clueless IT executives (they love DOTA) and the endless pact negotiation with the lawyers representing major Yahoo! stockholders.

Here is how I will reap the fortune out of the deal:

1. In the event that my bid is accepted

I'm sure they will never accept my bid as I don't have enough prowess in the IT industry to keep the company going. But wait....

2. In the event that my bid is rejected

Their greedy stockholders will sue the Yahoo management for rejecting the bid- they're loosing out big-time by failing to cash in on the 120% premium. And with the deal I made with their lawyers (I'm asking 20% cut for triggering the lawsuit), I will gain the cash which is impossible had the bid never existed.

Yahoo Stockholders

So years from now I will reap the reward from this brilliant move. And that's only possible because:

(Shareholders + Greed + Desire For New Retreat Mansion) + (Lawyers + Greed + Persuasive Talent) = Big Money

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err.. tak bape paham ni... zedd bid ape dan utk ape ye... huhu

I'm trying to buy the whole Yahoo company. And yes, including your inbox.

you need help with the bid ? :-)

by the way, did you know, that your site is not available behind the Great Firewall of China ? Spent last few days over there, could not reach yours not any other blogspot blogs ....

Update: Apparently Yahoo replied my bid with another promo spamming in my Yahoo inbox.

My blog is banned in China? This means I must be doing something right! (dang, will have to look into this matter, thanks!)

I would hate for you to look at my inbox when your bid is accepted =D.

Well, my bid is more than likely to get rejected. My inbox noticed a sharp increase in Yahoo spam mail.

Must be how they're saying "no, I hate you, now buy our services"..

My blog, incidentally, is for sale as well.

It's chock full of vowels and a bargain at 2.1 billion.

It would go a long way to showing Yahoo! that you are serious.

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