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Basic Literature is a corporate satire blog, updated with satirical and humorous commentary on the corporate world, including career advice, management tips, business strategies and marketing tactics.
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Why Business Vendors Are Important

Thursday, June 5, 2008

One of the blessing of having business competition is vendors. Our B2B vendors and suppliers.

Like office equipment suppliers and food caterers. And also the CRM/SCM software resellers and network platform vendors.

Oh, don't forget those office furnitures, the pantry's appliances and corporate gifts suppliers too. And there's training consultants, private security firms and accounting advisors.

And the routine management conference, seminars, staff retreat and company dinners mean event management firms, travel agencies and hotels.

There's vendor for anything it seems..

It's a blessing because these suppliers come from dozens of different companies vying to sell the same product. And they must do a good job 'convincing' us to choose them over their competitors.

So I've instructed our procurement department to invite hundreds of all sorts of tenders and solicit these companies to convince us.

And when they come to the product presentation, as always, they won't come empty-handed. Most of vendor presentations come complete with samples, goodies, and freebies.

All these giveaways will be stored in a special room, marked 'Employee Performance Benefits'. With stuffs from hundreds of bidding companies, I'll have more material rewards to motivate my staff for an entire decade.

But this is the best part. Each vendor will be required to go through me personally, where they'll have the best opportunity to make their bid loud and clear.

Vendor: Please consider my company for your $30 million supplies.
Me: I only conduct business with people I trust.
Vendor: You can trust me.

Me: I only trust friends.
Vendor: Hm..

Me: A friend will make their friend happy.
Vendor: What makes you happy?

Me: A sponsored trip to Europe for my whole family. And a Panerai chronograph.
Vendor: Say hello to your new friend.

Before you think I'm a corrupt, let me remind you this is not a bribe. Because after all those lavish gifts I enjoyed, I will not approve their tender.

"Due to the rising oil price which escalated the cost of conducting our business, the management has decided to cease all new procurements until further notice"

The only 'further notice' they'll get will be that of my funeral.

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"Mister Zedd! How could you! After I belanja all the Euro tour, the panerai, and change your sport rim to 19" summore, you never sign the tender!?! Watch out you! You think you so big ah!!" -- Message from Ah Chai, an angry vendor

Hilarious post! This is exactly how it works :D

Jenz (hm...Ah Chai), friendship requires you to give without hoping anything in return.

Danych, this is exactly how WE work.

hi zedd!! huhu. patung putih tu nampak menakutkan :p


What a creative businessman.I just prepared a quotation for you..but when it comes to the
'cruel' part..it is better for me to not befriend you at all!!

Hope to see you at the funeral-give my goodies back!!

Diya, hi..I think that's a real human. Scary isn't it..

@lienz, unfortunately my obituary will not state where I'll be buried. Just to let me enjoy the unlikely 'rest in peace'.

erk, real human? no way! huhu. sangat dasat lah sape yg mekap-kan die :p

lol. freaking.!! crazy ! these are the words that can describe the posts above! in friendship doesnt expect anything in return.

Diya, people goes to great lenght in ridiculing themselves- just for the sake of being 'unique'.

CDL, you missed another- employee benefit.

I like the idea of vendors. As a home based travel agent, I see travel agent business vendors at certain trade shows. They give very good exposure for business and so forth.

I always liked vendors. They give away free stuff many times. =)

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