C.E.O., Gobloc Insulting
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Basic Literature is a corporate satire blog, updated with satirical and humorous commentary on the corporate world, including career advice, management tips, business strategies and marketing tactics.
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My Expectations As A Boss

Wednesday, May 28, 2008



I am a reasonable man when it comes to personnel management. And surely, like most managers, I have my set of expectations for my staffs.

Complete your assigned report on time. And be on 100 different committees.

Spend more time at your desk to complete your task. And don't forget to represent the department in meetings at 8.00am, 12:00pm, 4:00pm and a dozen more between them.

Be humane. The company is your #1 priority.

Think about the management. Be humane. Don't steal the company time and assets. And please leave your family at home where they belong. Don't even think about them.

Don't be late in the morning. Don't be punctual in the evening.

Punctuality is an essence of a good leader. Always come in sharp in the morning. Flexibility is an essence of a good leader. Don't go back sharp in the evening.

Always work overtime. Don't claim overtime.

Due to the slash in HR budget, we expect you do more work, so please double your effort, work overtime. And due to the slash in HR budget, we don't encourage you to claim your overtimes.


Credits to Accounting Manager.

Don't take your annual leave. Don't accumulate your annual leave.

Don't expect to take a break, we work on a tight schedule. Don't accumulate your annual leave, finish it up before they pile up in the year-end.

Be disciplined. Scrap the bureaucracy.

We don't want problems. Please follow the company rules. We want speedy work. Please break the rules and the red-tape.

Take care of your health. Work.

We need healthy workforce, physically and mentally. Exercise and have fun. And remember, it's 'work' 'force', so work! work! work!

*****



I've made my expectations clear. So there's no reason not to fulfill it. If you want to take a new challenge, we'll arrange an interview. But hey, it doesn't make any difference anyway. To you.

This is Gap 1, part of "Your Work is Full of Gaps!" series.




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9 comments:

You are one boss I don't want to work for! T_T... Let's hope most bosses are more humane!

hehe. agaknya kite takleh jd leader kot, sebab slalu dtg lambat 5-10 minit :p

Eric "cluck" Knapp

This is great stuff - like Dilbert, but carrying a battle-axe!

MarketingDeviant, that is one great wish. Good luck with them..

Ayumi, a great leader do come late, the only difference is they managed to get away with it.

Eric, thanks!

Hehehehe..

Definitely, the staff not even understand their bosses expectation..his/her wants..
As for me,few bosses prefer to have a 'YES' staff - purposely do not want their staff to understand it.

Yes, that explains the real reason- there's a large gap in the brain of these bosses.

Your boss sure is Scary. :D Good thing my Boss is very understanding friendly guy. And by the way, this is the best post Ive read in two months.

Rule of thumb- If boss is being understanding and caring to you, then the boss must love you- and not his wife. Anyway, thanks!

You are a tough boss but i shall like to work with you because I always am very passionate about jobs and bosses.

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