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Basic Literature is a corporate satire blog, updated with satirical and humorous commentary on the corporate world, including career advice, management tips, business strategies and marketing tactics.
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Need More Time!!!!

Friday, November 7, 2008


Ah... Time management. Another crapoholic term that will chime in your head every time you enter the meeting room...half an hour late. Most of the time you're too preoccupied, the word 'deadline' is no longer defined in your dictionary.

Let's cut to the chase. These are some of the significant time-wasters in your work that you can eliminate..if you have the balls.

Finding the parking spot
Your pride with your bling-bling ride is gone once you find out that looking for parking spaces are like searching for a needle in a haystack- time is not on your side. The fix requires cycles: recycle your car at the scrapyard and get a motorcycle or a bicycle or a tricycle.

Walking
Average people walks 18,000 steps per day. Can you imagine how much time is wasted during these walks? Here's how to spell the solution to this problem: R. U. N. Y. O. U. C. O. U. C. H. P. O. T. A. T. O.

Caffeine fix
Hanging out in the pantry might be as delicious as your coffee, but stop wasting time. Buy a pack of Red-Bulls and you'll save ample time. And oh, the side effects will shorten your career in the long run too- early retirement!

Proof-reading
To write a report is one thing. To READ BACK THE REPORT is another. Now every time you've finished the pointless report your boss sent you to do, use Text Aloud to let the computers read it back to you.

While you reluctantly write another overdue report you owe your boss.

Error-correcting
Submitting the report is not the end of it. There are times when you'll be sent back to do corrections, and correcting your report is like redoing the same task again- a waste of time indeed. If this happens often......find another job using a lower qualification. You'll make less mistakes.

Boss's lecture
Yes. It's one of the leading culprit behind your lack of time. Now treat your boss like this and watch him letting you go the next time you screw up.

Chat
Do you really need your co-workers? Do you really want to have a conversation with them? If you think you can't live through the day without speaking a word to your colleagues, you need to know more about web 2.0. Can solve the 'walk' problem too.

Meetings
Yes I've covered them before, but unfortunately it's only applicable to top managers. Now simply, if meetings are the thorn in your flesh, start a fight with everyone in your next meeting. Be super obnoxious. For sure you'll not be invited next time.

Reading emails

If you don't have a Blackberry, it's a mixed blessing. Even you're free during your time off the office, this means you have to entertain every single message from your desk. To reduce waste of time, forward this post to your pathetic forward-crazy friends and save tremendous time going through your emails.

Requesting help from other departments
This is a pain in the @ss. All those explaining, begging and even to a point, whoring, consumes lots of time just to get a simple thing done. To reduce the time taken, don't use the phone to communicate with them. Use email, and CC every message to their boss, their superiors, the General Managers, the CEO and subsequently the board of directors, the minority shareholders, the minority shareholders' watchdog, and the newspapers.

*****

Well...to be honest, following only the last step should be more than enough. Now you'll have more time. To read blogs!


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7 comments:

there are also people who need more and more time to show to the bosses they deserve the job :-) any suggestion to those (or to their bosses) :-) ?

Cool pic and i think till now my office looks bad.

BizGiftGuru, I think the solution on 'error-correcting' is a good answer to your question..

For their bosses?

Learn to be merciless. Be a 'Terminator'.

Fontana Personal Injury Lawyer

For that caffeine fix and need boost of speed, just put the coffee maker right in your cube. That's what i did!

Also, never ever ever try getting help from another department via telephone. I've learned that the hard way more than once.

Zedd, why must you put the best step as a last point? You waste my time Zedd!Hahahaha...

As for me, without technology we cannot save our time but maybe with technology also - you might heve someone who will burden you with more jobs.

looks like everyone quit and dumped all their work on the bosses desk LOL

Respect and i think till now i have the most chaos in office.

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