C.E.O., Gobloc Insulting
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Basic Literature is a corporate satire blog, updated with satirical and humorous commentary on the corporate world, including career advice, management tips, business strategies and marketing tactics.
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A Thank You Letter For Employees

Thursday, April 9, 2009

 letter-shake-handsDear employees,

It’s been a while since I personally write to all of you, but this time around, the times are tough, I thought you guys need a lift in spirit. I’m writing this to inform you guys how thankful I am to have such a supportive and strong workforce under my wings- we’ve proven we’re able to fly through thick and thin.

First of all, thank you for sticking with this company. Even when you know we’re facing difficulties in sustaining our existence, you’re being a complete sport. Thank you for taking the pay cut. Thank you for not protesting the massive layoff we did in the recent months. Not that you have any choice, I guess being employed slave-like is much better than being unemployed, but anyway thank you very much.

letter-shake-career-box

I would also like to thank you for working very hard. Yes, so hard, even our board of directors noticed our achievements. Without your effort, I couldn’t afford the congratulations on my job well done. I couldn’t afford the millions of bonuses I got, I couldn’t afford the ‘savior’ status I was commended.. I even couldn’t imagine being in this Gulfstream jet (Mauritius is gorgeous!). Thank you again. You’ve sacrificed a lot to make all this possible- all while working in a harsher and poorer condition.

Again, I would like to thank you guys for being professional. I know it’s so hard to control your emotions during these hard times- all the uncertainties in the economy, the changes in the country, the morale of the society. Even though you’re mad only because you’re assigned twice the workload (from your unfortunate laid-off peers), and you have to work twice as hard, under half the budget (because of the massive cost-cutting), thank you for not rioting in front of the building, and thank you for keeping my courtesy Mercedes S600L scratch-free.

letter-mercedes-sPlease continue keeping your hands off my baby.

Furthermore, I would like to express my outmost gratitude to you for being desperate. I know without desperation, none of any sane being would continue to work for this company, under this challenging condition, with very potentially unfortunate circumstances (more details in the following paragraph). Thank you.

Lastly, thank you for being gullible- for believing this letter is indeed a thank-you note. For feeling appreciated. For feeling more motivated. Because by you feeling so, it’s easier to tell you that we will not give any bonus payouts this year, we are not done with the lay-offs, we will undergo more cruel budget cuts. All this just so that the company continues to have enough cash to honor my sumptuous compensation package.

Whatever it is, please remember we’re in this mess together. You’re neck-deep…. while lifting me up high and safe.

Thank you.

 

Your C.E.O.



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14 comments:

I truly get mad when reading this letter. Honestly,I feeling bad if I receive this kind of $#&%$* letter..this is the REAL thank you that they have for us..it is too much for me..

Blackzedd..Sorry..you already made my day became worse. I realy 'feel' this 'thank you' mode. My plan - if I receive this THANK YOU letter, of course my reply is RESIGNATION letter. Perhaps, everyone will do the same.

jason
economy is on a roll again. and to the employees, when you "chose "to b e an employee you should always have known, employees get fired first, bosses make money, employees get hired, bosses make money, so dont' blame your failure on someone else.

totally agreed with jason, there are some things in life you cannot change so dont' fight the change,ADAPT to it, that's the only way to survive.

If something happen than such things happen for betterment of you. So you just have to keep delivering your 100% and I am sure you will be able to see the effect.

that's try. Change is unpreventable, in fact change occurs almost everyday, the only way for us to do is to grasp that change.

I think that is the right time to say good bye to join another company with the designation who could send that letter.

I just believe in one thing and that is give your 110% and leave other things for the god.

God will take care.

Every time we remember to say “thank you”, we experience nothing less than heaven on earth.

Woh..i feel sad reading this post..:(
Feel so hard to leave to the company that you love to work with but we can't prevent this to happened since we are in the global crisis this might be...

You can't be sad or mad or anything else when this happens. Swallow your pride, say it was a good run, then go out and find another pathway of life. Pray and perservere and everything will work itself out!

Live and learn friends, live and learn! Everything happens for a reason and I truly believe this not just saying it!

Oh my, this is such a harsh letter. Who wouldn't hate the CEO for writing it? I feel bad for the employees, who are the ones working their butts off just so that the CEO will get to keep the company. And what does the CEO do... buy a Mercedes.
What an unfair world we live in. :(

How professional and sweet for a CEO to thank him employees. You will never find a person like that now a days.

Yeah, a supportive workforce is definitely a great thing, and this letter gave me a couple of awesome ideas that I hope to implement soon enough.

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