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Basic Literature is a corporate satire blog, updated with satirical and humorous commentary on the corporate world, including career advice, management tips, business strategies and marketing tactics.
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Don’t Let Your Subordinates Steal Your Job

Thursday, May 28, 2009

The ugly side of being a manager is the ratio of people fighting for your job.

You alone : All your subordinates

As the probability of you being an awesome manager is remote, therefore I conclude that you’re not competent enough to be the best person for the job compared with your subordinate.

incompetent-manager

But wait. Don’t succumb to the vanity mirror. Here’s how you can reduce the probability of you being replaced by your star subordinate.

 

Restrain them - Reinforce fear

Motivation is yesterday’s tool. Don’t motivate people to polish their performance, or your top management will soon realize you’re outshined by your subordinate. Use fear instead to keep them going, so that they’ll perform just to be in the safe zone, not the ‘excellent’ zone.

 

Break them - Discourage teamwork

As I’ve mentioned earlier, a well-organized team will lead to a well-organized resistance. You’re too weak to face that. Break them apart. In a meeting, they should only talk to you. They shall not work in pairs. If possible, they should work in different floors. Or different country. Whatever necessary.

 

Weaken them - Be vague

Don’t be precise in your orders.  Give hints, not directions. Train them to read your mind. Next, change your mind often. This way, in the event of failure, your management principle is not to be blame, because you have none. You can now blame your subordinates for their lack of apprehension in the way you work.

 

road-highway-vague-direction

 

Spy them - Select your clandestine agent

Quickly pick your favorite among your colleagues and promote them as your sarjeant-at-arms. This person must be, or, have the potential to be, your most loyal fan in the department. This person will be your eyes and ears, in the office wherever you’re not around. This person is your department’s Secret Police, so you’ll know any plan for coup-d’etat and eliminate the threat before the Operation Valkyrie commence.

 

Discourage them - Keep your succession planning public

You should analyze your subordinates according to the threat they posed to your position. In ascending order, list down your preferences of successor. The least threatening subordinate will be the top progeny in your succession planning. Your most threatening rival will know he/she doesn’t stand a chance to be promoted and will call it a quit, literally.



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12 comments:

It's the amazing article!!May be some managers will take these adviсes seriously ))

This is what we call work smart. Trust that most of managers have these for their downline to survive. And to ensure they still hold 'title'.

Humans are an interesting bunch..We are so different that if you don't appreciate the other person you will never get to like anyone in the long run

I think nobody can survive without all those stratigies but I always hate such stuff. That's why I couldn't get that chair till now.

Nice tips to the manager...this are good strategy to follow to stay in your position...

They are good tips. But am I the only one who thinks they're a little mean? I mean, if I am the subordinate, I would probably hate my manager for doing these things. Especially if I don't intend to steal his job in the first place.

I think the points given above are too good and very effective if you are dealing with a management.

going through your article, i was like what are you saying, you're contradicting everything i learnt in school. We were taught to motivate our employees and on the advantages of team work and making your employees trust but respect you. Everything you say contradicts that

going through your article, i was like what are you saying, you're contradicting everything i learnt in school. We were taught to motivate our employees and on the advantages of team work and making your employees trust but respect you. Everything you say contradicts that

That's a fascinating writeup. Well i don't think it's too good to make your employees or subordinates fear you. Make them to respect but not fear you. That way they can walk up to you when they have difficulties which could be beneficial for the growth of the company

That's a fascinating writeup. Well i don't think it's too good to make your employees or subordinates fear you. Make them to respect but not fear you. That way they can walk up to you when they have difficulties which could be beneficial for the growth of the company

Interesting post!! And i totally agree to those strategies coz in todays life you need to be mean.
This is a great blog that really points you in the right direction and I look forward to future postings.

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