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Basic Literature is a corporate satire blog, updated with satirical and humorous commentary on the corporate world, including career advice, management tips, business strategies and marketing tactics.
a satirical blog about our corporate world

Using Statistics To Propel Your Career

Sunday, April 20, 2008

As a general rule of thumb, your co-workers composition in your company follows the Bell-shape, normal distribution proportion.


Normal distribution means most of your co-workers are Average Joe. You’ll hardly notice them. They’re so invisible that you’re still dazzled why those seats at the cafeteria are always taken.

People rarely talk about them. Hence they're also invisible on the leadership succession plan.

On both tails of the distribution lies the extraordinary Joe.


On the extreme right tail are the Joe Satrianis. People in this right end possesses natural gift including ability to mesmerize others with their delicate performance and superb consistency. You worship their talent and achievements, and they’re constantly talked about within and outside the company.


On the extreme left is the Meet Joe Black type, who is as absurd as the 1998 film featuring the Death himself who took a sabbatical after endless millenniums of death-saving task. But hey, like the film, people in this end still managed to evoke such huge reactions- so huge that you’ll actually talk about them as often as you would about the Satrianis.

So for sure there’s a 1 million in 1 chance that you’re an average Joe.

“Darn, I have to change. People should talk about me more often, or I’ll end up with a rain check every time I'm interviewed for a promotion”

Time for a change indeed.

And NO. You can’t be a Joe Satriani. And you never will since your only talent involves the King and the Queen...in Solitaire.

So this leaves you with only one option. Be like the Meet Joe Black.

You can still become the prominent piece of conversation in your company by doing any of these:

  • Run in the company Marathon and pass out 10 feet from the finishing line.
  • Wear your work attire to the annual dinner.
  • Introduce your childhood friend to your office mates.
  • Drive a Fiat Multipla to your workplace.
  • Leave your zipper open during your committee presentation.
  • Die your hair blonde.
  • Wear earrings on your right ear.
  • Pay for your lunch using coins.
  • Put Michael Jackson on your wallpaper.
  • Praise your boss in the public.
  • Blow your morning breath in the elevator during the morning rush.
  • Date an older, higher-level Manager.
  • Get warded for STD.
  • Or....just work in the Payroll Department.

You’re nothing until people talk about you. Make them to.

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"Leave your zipper open during your committee presentation."

kawaiii~!!! ahaks :p

long time no see zedd. hope u're doing good, buddy :)

Getting notice is tough business! Maybe be your weird self and get notice easier =).


I'm Jules and I work at bestrank.com, a company interested in blog advertising. I found your blog engaging and I'm contacting you to ask if you are interested in blog post sponsorship.

If you are interested, kindly mail back for confirmation. Looking forward to doing business with you.


Jules Viernes

several of my staff prefer to get noticed by pissing me off :-)

Ayumi, doing good...zipper advice- proceed with caution.

MarketingDeviant, in other word, freaks sell more.

Jules, thanks for your interest. But currently all my blog posts are sponsored for by Google.

BizGiftGuru, obviously your company is well-managed! Since people who piss you off do stand out from the crowd, you must be happy with most of them!

The Fiat Multiple is pretty crazy looking to my eyes. That'd definitely get people talking!

This is so true even for managing a singing career. Managing a singing career is not as simple as throwing up a website and registering for YouTube and Facebook, you got to know how to convert your stats and fans into sales.

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