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Basic Literature is a corporate satire blog, updated with satirical and humorous commentary on the corporate world, including career advice, management tips, business strategies and marketing tactics.
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Golf Is for the Unfair Advantage

Friday, June 20, 2008

Of all the sports in the entire milky way, you should agree that golf is the most useless one there is. You'll spend thousands of dollars just for a microscopic improvement in your health.

If health is the expected return, then golf must be the worst investment vehicle available. Ever.


Come on, people often said "Golf is good to keep your mind sharp" as if they never heard about chess. Or backgammon.

If "It's a mild exercise for those who can't take more intense sports" then obviously retirement age should be lowered to 30.

Some said "It's a sport to enjoy the peaceful surrounding where you relax and unwind". That doesn't explain the thousands of hours golfers spend in the boring, clamorous driving range prior to their limited days in the fairways. Or they're not aware that jogging is allowed in parks and lakesides.

Driving range: All this constant swinging and swearing is calm and peaceful. You wish.


You see, we don't walk between holes, we drive. We don't carry our golf bags nor we think about the optimum clubs and the hit direction, because that's what caddies are for (including taking the blame for our bogeys.)

It doesn't work this way.

But everyone will nod in agreement that golf is a social activity. There's so many inactivity in this activity, the only thing that can make them interesting is by being a chatterbox.

And because golf courses are as big as Texas, other golfer groups are far away- a perfect isolation and privacy for you to discuss confidential matters especially business dealings.

"But sir, if we discuss business dealings there, then what's the use of meetings?"


Meeting is where we fool people into thinking we make decisions based on our integrity, that we can decide something based on the limited information presented, that we conclude our act based on the best interest of other people or whatever deemed fit for disclosures.

Where, in fact, behind every formal meetings, MoUs, Agreements and 5hits, there are always shadowy dealings involving briberies, conspiracies, libels, frauds, nepotism, secret cartels, hidden agenda- whatever that can land us in the hot soup. Things that antitrust laws exists for.

Where else can you discuss these other than during the 'innocent' round of golf?


Don't get me wrong. I love golf. I have my golfing buddies, always eager to outdo each other with our own signature (and superstitious) move. But to admit that golf is actually a sport is like throwing dusts into the public eyes.

It's just a deception.


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3 comments:

dari dulu tertanya2, nape businessman suka main golf ye... huhu. golf ni nampak mcm tak byk guna fizikal kan, tp kira kena kuat mental jugak. hehe. memandai je diya. pdhal tak penah main golf pun. sentuh kayu golf pun tak penah :p

Ha!!Ha!!
Actually maybe unfair but then everybody has their own intention or idea on why golf can be considered as a sport.

Diya, you'll do fine without playing golf. The only fun in it is when you get to drive the buggy.

@lienz, it's considered as a sport just to give these golfers a chance to justify their extreme spending.

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