C.E.O., Gobloc Insulting
About |
V
Basic Literature is a corporate satire blog, updated with satirical and humorous commentary on the corporate world, including career advice, management tips, business strategies and marketing tactics.
a satirical blog about our corporate world

Consumerisme Case Study: Shell V-Power

Monday, December 10, 2007

Businesses using outsourced consultant is like the clash of the titans. Both have the their own expertise (for the matter of this discussion) in their respective field.

The best part is, when we failed to outsmart each other, who loose? Give me your best answer:

(a) Business Owners (or managers)

(b) Marketing Consultant (ehem, me)

Hard to conclude, isn't it? Anybody who answered (a), you're on my side. But unfortunately, you're wrong.

Anybody who answered (b), I can see you don't like an honest person like me..but Im sorry, you're also wrong.

Confused? Don't be. That's because I hid the third answer:

(c) Stupid consumers

And I'm so sorry, it's the only correct answer. Since no one managed to answer my question (it's not that hard, ain't?), I will give you some examples WHY YOU WILL NEVER WIN against the partnership of businesses+consultants:

Case Study: Shell Fuel

Problems

Shell: Has overspent their money on Formula 1 racing and the useless (and slightly higher-priced) V-Power petrol, but could not generate enough sales to cover their investment.

Marketing Consultant: Need high-priced consulting job to rip more profit.

Solutions: An expensive TV advertisement using their F1 cars for their car fuel product.




Outcome:

Sales has been increasing because hallucinated consumers think their car can perform better because:

"My fuel runs an F1 car"

Duh. Your cheap mobile doesn't have any resemblance to the F1 car, let alone the need for engine stress tolerance and the extreme temperature endurance.

"If it can protect an F1 car, it surely can protect mine".

Haven't you heard of the word "OPTIMUM"? Why pay something silly when a decent cheaper priced petrol could do the job? Oh yes.


Because you've been duped!

You always been duped. By the clever consultant (like me) and the not-so-clever companies!



I always love my business customers and the end consumers. Both willing to pay for craps, and I'm always the one laughing my @55 to the bank.



Related Posts



Blog Widget by LinkWithin

10 comments:

zedd!! sihat? dah makan? dah minum? *kes tak tau nak komen pe,huhu*

well i also like the term "special" in ads...
everything is special and then you don't have to explain what is so special about it anymore

but i kinda love the Shell commercial with all these old cars :)

Sasha
Cool Green Gadgets

you mean f1 racing fuel isn't going to turn my 89' toyota turcel into a lamborhini?

Ayumi, I prefer cheating than eating.

Sasha, the word 'special' itself adds some value to the product. That's from the eye of the naive consumers of course. The ads is of course nice. But more important, it's expensive.

Anonymous, you can turn anything you see into a Lamborghini if you drink the fuel.

interesting...I'm facing the same situation in the office: whether to outsource or to do by our own self for certain projects.....as the program manager I opted for 1st choice, why? I have about 50 projects/events for the whole 2007 with a capacity of 4 personnels...mampus aku. What choice do I have? then the projects will increase next year....

david@marketingdeviant.com

You sound pretty evil >=).

yeah. yeah. shaye dtg lagi. zedd takmo makan, shaye nak paksa jugak. kene makan jugak. tak kire :p

p/s-err.. zedd takmo letak shoutbox/chatbox kat sidebar ke? *cadang je ni*

Etomyam, the root of your problem is of course your company's stingy policy for recruitment. Well, their cheapskate attitude is my goldmine. Gotta keep diggin'.

David, evil sounds good. Even better with a D in front. Cause companies are dealing with devils like me. A legal one in fact.

Ayumi, I've installed one on the previous week, but the load time is annoying. I will find an alternative. Thanks.

Technology transfer opportunities available today can give you all the information that you need about the market, but the main problem is time: you can't be in more than one place at once and even if you wanted to solve your problems one by one you still haven't got enough time. The only way to solve your problem is to hire a market consultant.

Yes, for example hiring SEO consultants that optimize keyword positioning through anchor links and do-follow blogs. Hah!

Anyway, yes, you made a valid good point.

Time + money = Owned!

Post a Comment

COMMENTS WITH KEYWORDS IN THE NAME FIELD WILL BE REMOVED