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Basic Literature is a corporate satire blog, updated with satirical and humorous commentary on the corporate world, including career advice, management tips, business strategies and marketing tactics.
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10 Myths About The Management (Part 1)

Thursday, December 13, 2007



Working at the end (or almost) of the managerial hierarchy might leave you cursing your top superiors more than your total aggregate compliments made to everyone in your whole life.

But behind those anger and dismay, are those stigmas about the management really true? I will share with you the top 10 myths about the top management personnel, based on the buzz around our corporate culture.

Myth #1: Management will cut your pay to increase theirs.

Management will find each and every microscopic cost that they can possibly and impossibly reduce from their lower level employees' financial perks. Your monthly pay, annual raise, overtime claims, travel allowance, dental coverage, and even your allocations for post-it notes.

Why? By reducing his or her division's or department's cost, it will positively reflect their commitments towards the company's 'efficiency'.

This in turn is hoped to delight the company directors, which subsequently will raise the management salary for a job well done. "Indispensable!", to the director's delight. The myth is generally popular on Human Resource directors and managers.

The Truth : As per myth. Especially the last part.

Myth #2: Managers will shift the blame on their failures to their subordinates.

If their decisions are frowned upon by the directors, they will quickly point their smoking gun to you. "You made me look like a fool in front of our directors!" or "You should've stay back to finish your work you hoodwink!" and even "My failure reflects your incompetence as my team member"

The Truth: As per myth. Especially during meetings with other departments.

Myth #3: Managers will claim all your intelligence and hard work as theirs.

In the event of success, all your workaholic attitude and gifted assets will be claimed as their sole property in front of the directors. "I stayed late last night just to deliver my best for this report." They may even proceed to discrediting your effort, mentioning their tireless lectures and continuous monitoring on your attitude.

The truth: As per myth. Creative commons doesn't work here.

Myth #4: Managers can always come late, but not you.

As no other managers can directly monitor his or her behavior, managers can always dash in and out of the office freely. They always have 'concrete' excuses, although similar as yours, but with a better exaggeration - enough to form an actual concrete slab.

"I woke up late this morning because my sons were too noisy watching the F.A cup final last night. I couldn't sleep, so I joined them. You know kids nowadays...you have to find the way into their heart. That was reverse psychology, hopefully they'll understand. We leaders, we must think differently. Someday when you're in my position, you'll be thankful for my advice. My wife was initially confused with blah...blah...blah... (on to other unrelated but cheerful topics)."

The truth: As per myth. They exaggerate better than you do (try harder!).

Myth #5: Managers like flattering remarks.

If you've missed your deadline for a specific task or your morning punch-in, you can bloat your manager with over-hyped, outrageously-sentenced but carefully-crafted compliments which is beautifully transitioned from your initial excuse. Flattered managers always let you off the hook. And may even give you a raise.

The Truth: As per myth. Polish your polishing skill now.

***

(This is the first part of the 10 myths. Remaining post will be published in the not-so-near future.)


Related post:

Things to do to impress your boss when you don't deserve it
Quicker meetings please!
How to handle your raging boss



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28 comments:

Dear Zedd,

I really agree with the myth 2 & 3. Especially for those managers who keep doing the foolish things and at the end thay will say ;'I NEVER SAID THAT' or 'I NEVER ASKED YOU TO DO SO'.

as a boss myself I say ... you are right, about the being late and excuses etc :-)

david@marketingdeviant.com

Are those myths really myths =). Sounds too true from a psychological standpoint of human nature.

Zedd,

As a staff, can you assist us on how to protect our rights? I believe you have some ideas!

Its not myths!! Its FACTS!!!!!

"Myth #4: Managers can always come late, but not you."

heh. mana bleh camtu, zedd. tak aci ah. manager kena la tunjuk sikap yg baik kat anak buah. kena la tepati ms gakss :D

Mrs Bean, I believed what you're saying is another profound myth, which is, as true as the truth. In the mean time, refer to this.

F1wolf, thank you for the honest confession. (Shouldn't you admit ALL?)

David, the truth are: as per myth.

Red Fish, I will cover your request in the coming postings.

Slackers, the fact is: as per myth.

Ayumi, the myth is: as per truth. Unfortunately, everything is happening in the world of career, whether we like it or not.

Zedd,
You know what? I'm waiting for your Part 2 VERSION...

F1wolf, thank you for the honest confession. (Shouldn't you admit ALL?)

I don't want to admit all :-)

zedd msti sibuk ngan schedule bagai. takpun skang kat tempat takde coverage tenet. harap bersabar ye aria ayumi :p

I have to apologize for the delay in new postings. My submarine vacation limits internet coverage. Will be right back. Thank you for your patience.

zedd! ade special tagged utk zedd. msti jawab tau!

I love it, good managers will cut your pay in order to raise theirs...priceless info Black Zedd!

You are hereby invited to post to Offbeat News and Videos whenever you get a chance.

Keep up the humor...

zedd, gonna mish u a lot :D

Howdy Zedd,

Salient points, indeed. Lets include "Management exists for no other purpose than to prevent you from making management. Only once you are broken and exasperated beyond wit's end will you be seriously considered for management. ;-) Cheers.

Bosses do steal ideas. Except my boss, who is awesome. Perhaps I'm just being partial since my boss is me. We'll see if I get backstabbed.

ingatkan zedd dh siap kemas2 kat sini. huhu. takpe klw zedd bizi, pentingkan mana yg lebih penting kan. ;)

Thank you for all your feedbacks, much appreciated. Part 2 will come later (another empty promise).

i think this is closely related to working myths?

there are so many people being employed but they have no sense of what's going on their lives

Bingo On-line, sometimes regular employees do these things too. So yes, this is related to working myth. The only difference is they could not get away with it.

Management is soo hard to work with! i hate u!

Your humor rings too true! thanks for the smile

I enjoyed reading the article, all the management principles are really hard to follow , but article is pretty humorous. Cheers

Thanks for great blog, this is true most of the time but in some situations these myths can be real true.

hey i think it's really great post and also a must read post to know the truth of management.

the myth seems to be true but no proof

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