What's Wrong With My Speech On Career Advice?

Last week I was invited to give a speech to a group of university students on "Career Advice: Progressing Through The Corporate Ladder". Being a highly successful corporate figure, I thought this is a great opportunity to share my 'career advice'.

But I was intrigued on why my speech was ill-received by the organizers.

Take a look at my speech. Go figure.

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"You have a recognized degree from the best institution. You have a formidable background as an active student. You got some experiences from the part-time job you took back then during your semester break. You have all the skills to attain success. You have everything it takes to succeed in the corporate world.

Almost.

You forgot the fact that you don't have the bottom-line.

THE REALITY.

You have a recognized degree

But those subjects you took never include "The principle of back-stabbing" or "Excuse Creation Methodology". The personal development courses you took didn't cover the topic of "How to kick your boss without actually doing it" And the list of textbook you have to buy (and read, if you actually read it) never mention my Book5hit- The True Definitions of Corporate Jargons.


You're an active student

But being an active employee is different from an active student. You will not be active if you fulfill your job description.

Active employee always wonder around departments, looking for new accomplice to spread the latest rumors about their archenemies (usually: bosses, recently promoted peers). If there's nothing to spread, then the time should be spent creating one.

Of course, alternate subjects to pass on to others include your daily whining of your co-workers, disgracing your neighbors and even talking about what 'improvements' you would make if you're the company CEO.

If you don't participate in this grapevine- you're a totally passive junk.

You got experiences from the part-time job

But, as long as it's on a part-time basis, YOU WILL NEVER GET THE REAL DEAL. Corporate career needs endurance. Think of it. You have to learn how to treat your office like your neighborhood. You WILL spend almost your entire week there. Including your sleep.

And why neighborhood? Because your 'house' is going to be your cubicle. And it's smaller than your drawer, so you'll consider having room to sit as the ultimate "HR BENEFIT".

Part-time jobs will never equip you with such endurance. Without endurance, you'll never survive.


You have all the skills to attain success.

But not to fake them. Do you think promotion is all about hard-work? It's about making your boss THINK that you work hard. You don't actually impress your boss. You cheat them. You don't earn your promotion. You steal them.

I'm here not because I'm smart.

I'm here because I'm devious. And, therefore, I AM SMART."

*****

(what's wrong with them?)

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