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Basic Literature is a corporate satire blog, updated with satirical and humorous commentary on the corporate world, including career advice, management tips, business strategies and marketing tactics.
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How To ab-Use Corporate Blogging

Monday, September 1, 2008

Corporate blogging is the way to go. I always encourage my clients to set up their own company blog, simply because consumers trusted blogs even more than conventional media nowadays.

A blog is more trust-worthy than your press-release or news section because they're likely written by someone not as crooked and deceptive as your PR consultant. It's more personal, casual, less-professional.

The public willingly stick their neck out for blogs- providing a more effective channel to push your kool-aid down their throat.

Here I outline 10 surefire way to achieve a PR zen through your corporate blog:

  1. Always post using names of your employees. For better result, use the name of the CEO. It will create a 'perceived' down-to-earth image. Another point for PR.

  2. People are likely to connect with your organization if they can see real human interactions within. That was how Survivors kicked-off the reality show bandwagon, right? Publish stories of your employees that are related to your target market. For example, if your business targets mothers, create news about employees giving birth. It will foster affinity to your organization.

  3. Human tends to unite around a cause when tragedy struck. So, publish false happening around the office to elicit sympathy, like "Mary our R&D director just loss her only son in a freak accident"..anything that can garner compassion. It will gain you more followers to your blog. Plus the spillover effect from the compassion will neutralize any resentment towards your company.

  4. The more frequent you update your blog, the more people will tune in to follow. More posts will provide more rooms to repeat your false conscience for the environment and to your public. Remember: use this to REinforce your phony principles.

  5. Once in a while highlight fake e-mails from your customers. Some of those emails should be negative in nature, but highlights how your organization solve their problems and turns the complainer into satisfied, loyal supporter.

    Consumers trust bloggers. Abuse the trust.

  6. Form up a special committee of 'independent bloggers' that consists of your paid staffs to set up their own blog and publish writings on how good your company and products are. Remember to conceal their true identity at any cost.

  7. Make it compulsory for EVERY employee to comment POSITIVELY on every post from their home using fake names. The IP distribution will help in increasing the Alexa ranking- providing false signal that your corporate blog is indeed popular.

  8. Plant links in the committee members' blog, using effective keywords as the anchor text, such as 'the company that care about the environment' etc... Also harass those do-follow blogs (spare mine) with comments linking to the corporate blog to get more PR juice.

  9. Form up another committee, the 'Digg and StumbleUpon brigade' to digg/thumbs up your postings and bury/thumbs down posts from other competing blogs. This is a measure to promote your blog even further. [source]

  10. Reply to comments with "Thanks for your interesting input. We'll definitely discuss them in our next incoming meeting" and mentally replace the reply with "Yeah right, suckers!"
Just follow these simple steps and you're on your way to a new hight in corporate credibility.

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for a while I thought that this time you may be dead serious

the more of the post I read the more I could relax - The Zedd is still here :-)

Hey I'm always serious. You can really gull consumers this way. Just add some boldness.

Hey congrats on the 9rules success Black Zedd. I'm just giving the blogs a short glimpse. These might be a bit ironical, but I really don't want to know how much things like these are happening. Just look at wikipedia!
However keep it up, Simon

I am still wondering, how you manage all that good stuff and from where it comes. Each post on this blog is a wonderful snippet to read and is full of tips. I like the tip to announce or write mother things if blog is related to mothers.

call of duty world at war

Thanks, great site.. your is one of very few blogs worth taking the time to read..

Thanks again, Love lisa

Simon, thanks. The fact that the extent of these tactics still remain mysterious shows that it's working.

Ryan, thanks. I'm a consultant. Making things up is my expertise. Glad you enjoyed them.

A very interesting spin on how to cheat Google for better rankings. I'm not sure how I feel about these tactics, but I know many people employ them.

p.s. Notice how you asked people to refrain from using keywords in the name field, yet the post above me does exactly that and you didn't remove the post? LOL

Ironic how that happens, moreover on this post. The generic 'thanks' comment above you was new, I haven't got the time to remove them before.

Live example of the attempt on Google manipulation..a futile one..

Cool website, the design and colour combination is awesome! Thanks for the fundamental tips about blogging, really helpful.

Internet Marketing Consultant

Excellent information and tips about blogging, that was pretty handy. And your site is really commendable. I appreciate your effort.

Website Design Midlands

Really cool article, i really enjoyed this post and the tips are absolutely awesome.. thanks a lot.

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