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Basic Literature is a corporate satire blog, updated with satirical and humorous commentary on the corporate world, including career advice, management tips, business strategies and marketing tactics.
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Do You Have What It Takes To Be A C.E.O.?

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Based on the Product-Moment Correlation Coefficient study done on media interviews with today's top CEOs, I've designed a test to determine your tendency to be a C.E.O.

The test was derived from the variables most common among these high-flyers, reflected from their answers from interviews with various business publications.

Confirm your grim future by taking the following test.

i. Do you read books?

Top CEOs always brag about the books they read. No, those are not your sham e-books, outdated textbooks or on-line types of readings. It's the actual, physical and picture-less books that may take a whole decade for couch-potatoes like you to finish.

ii. Are your hobbies conventional? [Yes/No]

Top CEOs always indulge in exotic hobbies, passionately. Like Norio Ohga, the former CEO of Sony- he's a conductor for an orchestra. Or Bill Ford, the former CEO of Ford Motors- he owns a black-belt in Karate. Other examples include polo, yachting and sky-diving. If your hobby is merely golf- go fly kite.

iii. Do you read philosophy? [Yes/No]

Every top CEO knows their way around when it comes to philosophical senses. They quote philosophers more often than they mention any corporate bigwigs. If you think Plato is a highland, think again- about your career path.

iv. Is your idol still alive? [Yes/No]

Top CEOs always admire ancient figures as their role models. Like Marcus Aurelius. Or Napoleon . If you consider present-day corporate magnates like Donald Trump as your idol, your cubicle will be your only legacy.

v. Do you watch Bloomberg? [Yes/No]

Top CEOs love scrolling news/stock tickers. If you consider those scrolling items around your TV screen as nuisance, get a life. Out of the corporate world.

vi. Are you fat and healthy? [Yes/No]

Top CEOs always trim down. They jog. They exercise. But they're not that healthy. Common health issues would be high-blood pressure, heart attack and occasional diabetic complications. If you're fat, you're out. If you're healthy, wait till another 10 years.


Those are the common chracteristics of top CEOs, apart from being competent. You're not competent. And if most of your answers to the above questions are negative in nature, you're helpless.

Read this blog more to boost your confidence- there are lots of other devious means to be a CEO.

The first step?

Don't be yourself.

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I am wondering..what type of gen they have? Hahaha..I don't want to be like them, but I want to be CEO. Can I?


I'm waiting for you to perfect your skillsets and be promoted to CEO.

Then, you can hire me to apple polish your shoes :)

LOL at 'Plato' is a highland.

Well, most jobs really do require us not to be ourselves, comes with sucking up to the bosses. ;)

But thanks for the tips anyway. *g*

Mrs.Bean, of course you can. Start with the first advice..

Avatar, fortunately, I'm already a CEO. However, the position you applied for is already filled by an entire dedicated department- the HR.

Elly M, I'm sure sucking up to their previous boss is another similarity between those top CEOs.

Truly speaking.Health is wealth so every body should take care of health...

I don't consider donald trump as an idol but I've e - mailed some of his stuff to some associates. Most of my heroes are men long gone from the face of this Earth. Napoleon was one of them. I still WANNA have my OWN corporation!!!

Yours Truly, as long as you're worshiping someone dead, you're doing fine. Hm..spooky.

It is very nice post. Thanks for sharing this post.

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