C.E.O., Gobloc Insulting
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Basic Literature is a corporate satire blog, updated with satirical and humorous commentary on the corporate world, including career advice, management tips, business strategies and marketing tactics.
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Ehem! We're An Equal Opportunity Employer

Monday, September 8, 2008

Welcome to Gobloc Insulting, a marketing consultancy firm.


We give equal opportunity to every people to work in our company, regardless of their gender, race, religion and any characteristic that may be considered for social profiling.

For example, we never discriminate the women.

Just look at the candidate lists for every interviews. We have women being considered for every top management position.

Ehem. Just don't look at the list of successful candidates.

We also never discriminate the minorities.

We never put in 'race' or 'religion' in our application form. We don't want candidates to think that we're discriminating them.

Ehem. That's why we call all of them for interviews- to visually identify and reject the minorities.

Heck, we don't even discriminate the idiots.

We believe potential shouldn't be measured through academic pointers per se. That's why we provide IQ and competency test to all candidates- regardless of their academic achievements.

Ehem. This way we can blind the public from the truth - that we're offering the job to the family members of top management.

*****
Giving opportunity doesn't mean giving the position. Being 'considered' is not the same as being offered. In some cases, it may even sound like an insult.

"We'll consider your application. Thank you"

Sounds familiar?


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6 comments:

Zedd,
"Sound familiar?" Of course. As for me, to say that is more familiar than to hear. What will I say when I also get the same feedback from my TOP MANAGEMENT when I am proposing a staff that are totally not from their family :-)

Friend of Mine : Hello, is this XYZ Co.?

XYZ Co. : Yes. This is Ms. Qwerty speaking. Can I help you?

FoM : Yes, I'm calling with regards to the position of Asdf that your company has placed in the papers.

XYZ Co. Rep. : Are you bilingual?

FoM : Yes. In addition, I speak several other lingos.

XYZ Co. Rep. : But can you speak in Q?

FoM : Yes, I can speak in Q. @#$%^&*()_+!
(Slams phone).



Yours Truly : Hi, is this HJKL Co.?

HJKL Co. Rep. : Yes, this is HJKL. May I assist you?

Yours Truly : Yeah, I'm enquirin' 'bout the position of Assistant +++ like you've published in the papers. Is the position still available?

HJKL Co. Rep. : Yah, it still avalable. You a citizen of our country?

Yours Truly : No...but I've got the requisite certification (interrupted)

HJKL Co. Rep. : So sorry, only for citizens & Perm Residents only. Have nice day.

Yours Truly : @#$!

EQUAL OPPORTUNITIES indeed.

Mrs. Bean, try this: "Oh I forgot this is a family reunion".

Yours Truly, welcome to the reality- where hopes and dreams remain hopes and dreams.

well this is really familiar.

omigod this is laments for those-- for us who are just infants to the real world

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